What a big mistake

The biggest mistake in my life is when i keep quiet in a wrong time..
Being a little shy girl in the past make me regret now
If only i'm brave enough to voice out what is inside my mind,i dont need to endure the pain for 14 years.
And now...
Even i cry untill blood comes out from my eyes..
Even i scream until my voice sounds terrible..
Even i pray day n night to travel to the past...
None of them will become true..
I wish there is time machine
So that i can go back and recorrect my mistake..
The past keep hunting me
That makes me feel scared facing the future
There is one time my body shaking non-stop
I'm hiding alone in my room
Feeling terrified to go out
Crying and crazily blaming myself
Throw away every single things near me
Grab a belt and hurt myself
Even until now,i'm doing the same thing
But thanks godnesss
Now i'm brave enough
To fight for my right
To protect my beloved one
Finally,that little shy girl got a wonderful strength
A miracle sent from above
Thank u god